the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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