If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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