If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
