Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
