dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize