it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
