Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
