They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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