Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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