I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I deserve this hangover.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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