remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
