i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
