i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
