you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
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Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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