We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
