That's intense
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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