Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
