i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if only i could text you this smell
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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