I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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