You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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