id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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