Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
