I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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