the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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