Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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