DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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