whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize