omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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