I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
