Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
