any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
BRING THE BAGELS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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