why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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