My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
