please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
