Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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