Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
