is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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