i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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