shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize