And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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