I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
