Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize