CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
