I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
