plz talk dirty to me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
