I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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