hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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