Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
