Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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  (647): Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream. http://tfl.nu/6zy9
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (1414)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (941) Bad night (1960)
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  (408): View more from California

  So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.

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  (408): So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed. http://tfl.nu/urd8
  Replies (13) Good night (679) Bad night (5844)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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  (336): Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh. http://tfl.nu/7dtp
  Replies (34) Good night (834) Bad night (3620)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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  (513): she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead." http://tfl.nu/j1dy
  Replies (34) Good night (5461) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night

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  (631): ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night http://tfl.nu/n1l5
  Replies (9) Good night (5061) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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  (307): The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though. http://tfl.nu/bysz
  Replies (8) Good night (998) Bad night (3257)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.

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  (914): I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol. http://tfl.nu/zw06
  Replies (11) Good night (2161) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.

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  (804): he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself. http://tfl.nu/dcvq
  Replies (1) Good night (1108) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?

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  (303): I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters? http://tfl.nu/gcgg
  Replies (10) Good night (583) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer

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  (248): I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer http://tfl.nu/yuzp
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (595)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

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  (219): I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night. http://tfl.nu/4hgv
  Replies (7) Good night (471) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.

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  (601): You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs. http://tfl.nu/oyg1
  Replies (3) Good night (289) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.

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  (614): im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year. http://tfl.nu/ildj
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled

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  (706): The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled http://tfl.nu/td6g
  Replies (7) Good night (823) Bad night (429)

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