well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
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three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.