At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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