haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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