Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard

Fav 10 3347 1350
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

Fav 21 2623 746
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.

(512): View more from Texas

Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.

Fav 64 3026 1041
share tweet
(904): View more from Florida

i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

Fav 22 6865 1144
share tweet
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(612): View more from Minnesota

three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.

Fav 9 7934 1109
share tweet
(310): View more from California

I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.

Fav 58 1758 9234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

Fav 6 1419 4499
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(571): View more from Virginia

A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place

Fav 5 1607 591
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.

Fav 0 138 65
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT