when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
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