hotties wanna shake it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??