Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize