I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
