I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize