Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
