If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
