Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am midnight drunk by noon
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father