i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?