Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms