your room smells of hookers.
And success
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
