I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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