Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
